Military
The Air Force is the smartest service because they send their officers off to fight and let the enlisted guys stay back in the rear!
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A Marine and a Soldier were walking outside when the Soldier said "Look at the dead bird." The Marine looked skyward and said "Where, where?"
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A Marine goes to the medic and as he touches each part of his body with his finger he says, "doc it hurts everywhere. My leg hurts, my arm hurts, my neck hurts, and even my head hurts! Doc what's wrong?"
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A newly minted Marine Corporal lands in the Nam in early '67, and before his gear is stowed, the platoon Sgt. informs him he's assigned to a search-and-destroy patrol that night...they're going out hunting Viet Cong. The young Texan thinks for a minute, then asks "works for me, sarge, but before I get in trouble, what's the bag limit?"
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Three Marines were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first Marine said "those are deer tracks." The second Marine said "No, those are elk tracks." The third Marine said "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks." The Marines were still arguing when the train hit them.